Everyone encounters grief at some point in their life. Some just have to face it earlier than others.

The first death you usually go through is that of a pet. 

When you are a child this can be the most upsetting thing you can go through. 
You invest a lot of time into this animal and often you tell your pets things you would never tell your parents. They become your best friend and your confidante.

Learning how to deal with death when your pet dies can be an important experience as you grow up. 
Your parents can use this experience to talk to you about death and how nothing lasts forever. 
There are lots of beautiful books that parents can use to help them to talk to their children about losing someone. 

In all of this though death seems to be explained away as happening to those that are elderly or ill which we know from experience isn't always the case.

The first family death most children or young adults encounter is that of the grandparent. 

A lot of families try to shelter their children away from what is going on as they think that the child is too young to deal with it. 

Whilst I agree with this to some degree I do think that children do need to be involved in the discussion around the death as they have been affected by it too. 

If they are not included they may become confused as what has happened to grandma, granddad, Auntie etc. 

Children are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for and often take it in a much more logical way than an adult does.

As you get older it becomes almost expected that you will be affected by grief and the way you were helped to understand it as a child can have an impact on how you cope with it as an adult.

The one thing that I don't think anyone can be prepared for is the death of a baby or child. 
This goes against the natural process of living, growing old and then dying. 
No parent or grandparent ever thinks that they will out live their children and grandchildren.

Yet in reality there are so many families out there having to deal with just this situation. Many of them are doing it alone or with very little help and support.

Everyone needs support, friendship and help in everyday life so when they are going through a loss this need just gets bigger. 
I also feel that this need for support is multiplied by a million when it is their baby, child, grandchild.

When you first find out you are going to be a mum, dad, nanna, granddad, auntie or uncle you automatically start planning things (in your head) for the future. You start to prepare for their arrival with excitement, going shopping now becomes fun rather than a chore. 

Then to be told that there is a problem with your baby or your child dies either before, during or shortly after birth, how can anyone make their brain get to grips with this. 

They can find themselves plunged into a world of uncertainty.

Without proper coordinated bereavement support families will struggle to try and deal with even everyday things like cooking a meal. 
No one should go through grief and bereavement alone and this is where our charity came into being.

We want to see that every family receives the support and help to deal with their bereavement/loss. 

Ideally this would and should be provided by the local services such as the hospital, Gp surgery, midwives, health visitors and bereavement counsellors. 
However we know we do not live in an ideal world and lots of families are falling through the cracks and being forgotten by the services that are supposed to be there to help in times of crisis.

We now support many families as they try to find a way to cope with the situation they have found themselves in. Many of them tell us that like us they have been overlooked by the professionals.

This frustrates us as we dared to hope that things were starting to get better. 

There have been some improvements made to help families but it is still not enough and can often be determined by where you live in the country.

If you or someone you know has been affected by the loss of a baby or child and feel that they have not been given the support they need please get in touch with us.

We are always here to help you. 

If you feel as strongly as we do that bereavement support across the country should be improved to ensure that every family gets the help they need please go along and sign our petition on Change.org.

Head to our website, www.Charlies-Angel-Centre.org.uk,to find lots of other ways you can help families, or if you have suffered a loss there is lots of information and help for you.

Over the last couple of years the TV soaps have helped in making the subject of baby/child loss more acceptable to talk about.
This can only be a good thing for families. 

Let's hope that programmes continue to highlight this topic and look at the level of support that is currently out there, helping us get the conversations going on what support NEEDS to be out there for all families.