Sunday 8 November 2015

I work in a primary school and deal with children from 4 to 11 every day. I find working with the kids a good way of keeping busy and is my way of working through my grief.

This week I have found myself quite emotional and missing Charlie more than usual.

I have thought that it was maybe because we are getting to the time of year when we were coming to terms with Charlies prognosis but then I realised what had triggered it.

Halloween and Bonfire Night. 

I was stood at school on Thursday evening looking out of the window at the fireworks being set off when suddenly I was hit with this overwhelming emotion.

I felt so sad that we would never have the excitement of seeing the joy on Charlies face as he watched the fireworks zoom up into the night sky. We wouldn't see his little smiley face as he made shapes with a sparkler. He wouldn't have the chance to dress up as a vampire or ghost.

All the children at school had been busy telling us about which firework display they were going to and getting so excited.

We also held a spooky day and film night. The kids were dressed in some brilliant costumes and took great delight in trying to scare the teaching staff.  

It then hit me that Carrie & the family would never have that excitement of using face paints and trick or treating with him, counting all the goodies he had been given. 
We get to see our other beautiful grand children enjoying it and to see their excitement is fantastic. 
But for Carrie and so many other mums & dads this must be another reminder of the things they will miss out on.

We all take certain things for granted and it took me by surprise how much it affected me. 
There must be hundreds of families out there going through the same emotions as me as they watch other families taking part in the festivities. 

As we get closer to the next big family celebration, Christmas, please remember all those families struggling through grief and extend a hand of friendship. 






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