Losing someone you love is hard.

If your loved one dies around Christmas, it can be even harder to

deal with. 

The way to deal with death at Christmas is to realize that, when

someone you love dies, change is unavoidable. 

However, change can also help you get through this difficult time.

While you can't rush the grieving process, you can find ways to

make your holidays more pleasant and less stressful.

Recognize that feelings of sadness, grief and even anger may 

intensify during the holiday season. 

The added expectations can make it even harder to deal with the 

anniversary of your loved one's death.

Talk to friends and family.

Ask for and accept their emotional and practical help. 

Be honest about your feelings. 

You may not want to seem like a "downer" when everyone else

seems to be celebrating, but realize that most people are eager to

help.

If you want to talk about your loved one, know that you can and let 

others know this.

Consider which holiday traditions may be helpful and which may 

be hurtful. 

The first holidays following a death can bring back painful 

memories and emotions and the holiday media blitz can leave you

stressed and exhausted.

If you are too conscious of the empty chair, you may want to skip

hosting Christmas dinner for the entire family. 

Or you may find comfort in this tradition and in sharing memories 

with people who were close to your loved one.

Find counseling if it is available in your area.

Your school, workplace or place of worship should be able to recommend someone. 

If cost is a concern, you can consider support groups, including Internet support groups.

Help yourself by helping someone else. 

Offer support to others affected by your loss. 

Consider making a charitable donation or give a gift in memory of 

your loved one. 

You could also volunteer at an animal shelter or another charity, 

since they are often shorthanded during the holidays.

Spend time with friends or family members. 

Invite someone to share a meal or see a concert with you. 

You could also volunteer at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter.

Simplify what you can and ask for and accept help. 

For example, if you can't deal with making turkey with all the 

trimmings, you can have pizza or pasta.

Prioritize your own needs and the needs of those who are also most 

affected by the loss. 

Do what works for you and them. 

You may find comfort in familiar surroundings or you may want to 

visit somewhere completely new.

Get through today. 

Don't worry about how you will handle the holiday next year or ten 

years from now.

By then you may want to return to certain beloved traditions and 

locations, or you may want to celebrate elsewhere or in an entirely 

different way.


Remember and honor the loved one with a special toast, a favorite 

carol, a lighted candle or a favorite photo. 

You can also write a card or letter or keep a journal of your 

thoughts and remembrances. 

In the coming years, Christmas can be a time to remember your loved one. 

You can visit a place you both loved or that the person had always 

wanted to see and see it "for" them.

Enjoy whatever you can during the holiday season.

There is no harm or disrespect in celebrating.

Your loved one would want you to find comfort where and when it comes.