Friday 28 November 2014

We went along to the memorial service at our local church on Wednesday evening.

It was an emotional evening and it was nice to see that the organisers of the event had put out a collection box for our charity.
They have been very supportive to us and have even put our charity bands and pens in their branch for people to buy. 

There was even a little bit at the beginning of the service where the speaker told the congregation a little bit about us and what we are trying to achieve.

The service was only a short one and focused on remembering your loved ones lives and how they filled your lives with love. 


We were all then asked to go up and light a candle in memory of our loved ones. The vicar read out our loved ones names and the families could go up and light as many candles as they needed.

There was another family there that had lost their son a year ago and when his name was read out suddenly about 30 + teenagers all walked forwards to light candles. All of his school friends had come along to support the family. It was a lovely but emotional sight to see.

There was time after the service when people could have refreshments and talk to other families and give mutual support.

The service was obviously religious based and at times I actually felt a little jealous of the people who have a strong faith as they seem to find great comfort in their beliefs.

I wish I had the belief and faith that they did.

I do believe that there must be something out there when we die, but I really don't know what it is. 

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have that faith in God to give me something to be able to focus on and lean on to help me through my grief.

Then there are times when I sit and think to myself how can there be a God, how can there be anyone out there that would allow all the suffering to go on.
Surely a loving God wouldn't want to see babies and children suffer, and parents left behind to struggle through their loss.

I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that will be able to come up with an argument for this but I really can't see how anyone can say that Carrie losing Charlie was for a greater reason, and that Charlie is in a better place. 
Surely the best place for Charlie to be would be in the arms of his mum.

Maybe one day I will find my faith, I don't know, but I do wish I had something I could have to help deal with the feelings bought up through the loss of Charlie.




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