When you go through  bereavement as an adult it is a very difficult and confusing time. 

Imagine how it must then feel for a child. 

When we lost Charlie the main focus was obviously Carrie and Charlie. 

However it soon became apparent that Charlies nieces (Rhiann & Amy)were finding it really difficult to understand what was happening. 
They were 6 1/2 and 4 1/2. 
They had known that their Aunty was pregnant and you could see that they were getting excited about seeing her tummy get bigger. We tried to explain to them that Charlie was very poorly but at such young ages it was hard for them to fully understand what that really meant.

After Charlie died their mum and dad, Charlies aunt and uncle, had to sit down with them and explain that he had been too poorly to stay with us and had gone to heaven as an angel. 
I really don't know how they managed to do that. 
They were having to deal with their own grief as well as making it understandable to their girls. 
Shane was also having to see his little sister go through such a traumatic experience.

The girls then had to see their mum and dad upset, their grandparents upset and their aunt and uncles upset. 

The oldest girl, Rhiann, found it much harder to understand. I remember her coming to me and giving me a hug and saying 'I will look after you nanna, don't be sad'. Just remembering that and writing it down has made me cry. Such a small innocent little girl feeling such responsibility and empathy.

I think they helped us all get through the very dark days when all we wanted to do was close the doors and curtains and hide away from the world.
They gave us all a reason to go out, try to smile and face the world. 
I know Carrie has often said that seeing their beautiful smily faces has helped her see the positives in the world again. If its possible I think she has become closer to them and loves them deeper than ever before.

Both girls were given a framed photo of Charlie which they both kept by their beds. I remember their mum telling me that they used to give the photos a kiss and say goodnight every night when they went to bed and would say hello to him in the morning.

It is so important to make children  feel part of the grieving process. They still feel the loss and they feel the impact it has on their family. A lot of times children get overlooked because the adults are so busy grieving.

I couldn't be prouder of how their parents have dealt with explaining the loss and made it easier for the girls to be able to talk about it and deal with the emotions it has bought up. We have all felt that being open and honest with them about what happened was the best way to help them cope.

Our grandchildren have found an outlet for their grief through a teddy bear called 'Charlie Bear'. They have used him to give hugs to, talk to and share their worries and to go places with him in their cousins memory.

They have been the inspiration behind the new Charlie Bears Adventure Page.

Both girls have wanted to be so involved with the charity and want to raise as much money as they can. They have taken part in cake baking and selling, walking round Leeds shaking charity tins and even taking part in the sponsored walk we did. 
They are both so proud to do things for Charlie and want others to know all about him.

Rhiann and Amy have had the support of their extended family to help them through this very tough time but other children aren't always as lucky. They have still found it very tough and at times have struggled with their emotions but they know we are all there to talk to and love them.