We soon realised that someone needed to go and let everyone in the reception area know what had happened. Waiting for any news were Gary (Carries dad), Clive (Carries step dad), Shane (Brother) and Nathan (Brother). I said I would go and tell them all, I felt like I needed some air as well.

On the way out of the delivery suite the receptionist came round to me from behind her desk. She gave me a big hug and said she was so sorry for our loss. Her kindness meant so much and that hug was really needed.

I decided to walk down rather than take the lift, I think part of me was wanting to take the longest route as I didn't know how I was going to start telling them.  I came round the corner and saw them all sat there, they all looked over and I couldn't find any words at first I just looked at them and shook my head. They all knew what it meant and they all stood up. We walked outside, no one really talking to start with. I explained to them all what had gone on and kept saying how much of a fight Charlie had put up. I remember us all giving each other hugs but I cant remember what was said.

All of us went back up to the delivery suite and as we walked back onto the ward. Gary stopped when he got to the door and had to step back for a moment to compose himself, he said he needed to be strong for Carrie. Shane and Nathan both looked shell shocked and a little confused. We went into the room but I came back out to let the others spend some time with Carrie and Charlie. The room was only small and it felt right to give them some time. I had had the privilege of seeing Charlie come into the world.

Once all the medical staff had come out of the room we were all able to be in the room. We all spent time cuddling Charlie and Carrie.

The staff on the ward were really kind and kept asking if there was anything anyone needed. They explained to us that there was a special suite attached to the delivery ward called the 'Rosemary Suite'. This was an area with individual rooms for families whose babies had passed away or were born sleeping. We were told as soon as there was a room available we would be able to be moved round. It wasn't until later that we realised that this had meant that there were already families in them who had lost a child.

Time seemed irrelevant and hours blended into each other. I think we were all on automatic pilot and didn't know what to expect or what to do. At some point during the early hours of the morning I remember driving out to tell Bradley (Carries younger brother) the news.

Watching other people go about their normal things seemed strange. I felt like they should all know and should be doing something different. I don't know what I thought they should be doing but it didn't feel right that they were acting normal.